1. |
Shadows
05:30
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I’m living in a nightmare
Wake to a monster in my bed
His arms wrapped around me
But it’s no longer so scary
Scaled skin, bright green eyes, and black heart
Uses his razor tongue to tear you apart
It just doesn’t hurt so bad anymore
You were like a dream, a distant hope
So far, yet attainable somehow
A smile like sunshine, you smelled like peace
The shadows dance in the flickering light
Like the dark intentions behind his eyes
The shadows dance in the flickering light
And watch as he feeds on my fading light
You were a dream, just what I’d needed
That little hope, that little push
Gave me the strength to not stay
The shadows crawl, the shadows leap
Reflecting the fears deep within me
The shadows grasp, the shadows reach
As if daring me to drift to sleep
It’s time to face reality, it’s time to wake up
It’s not a nightmare, and he’s not a monster
Just another man.
A liar, manipulator
A hurting soul who feels the need to control
And cut me down
And you’re not a dream
Just another man
A good man
So thank you, but I’m waking up
I’m waking up.
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2. |
Stars
05:10
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He saw the world in black and white
There was wrong and there was right
Spoon-fed half-truths and easy lies
So convicted, so sure
Turns out he was what they despised
Now everything looks grey
With shades of blue and red
His worlds turned upside down
From church pew to a strangers bed
Searching for a comfort, a refuge
From the voices in his head
Just look to the stars
You’re not a rock in the dust, but a light in the sky
So look to the stars
That’s what you are
She doesn’t know how she got here
How it all disappeared
Good deeds are forgotten, but
They’ll always remember the fall
So she packs her bags and makes the call
Now everything looks grey
With shades of red and blue
Her worlds turned upside down
Wish I could do something for you
Can’t shine if you’re staring at the ground
Look up, not around
The vast expanse, the final frontier
The freedom to imagine, an escape from fear
To live in a dream
Things are never quiet as bad as they seem
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3. |
Promises, Promises
04:18
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Your promises always broke
Your forevers turned to goodbyes
If I was broken when you found me,
I’m beyond shattered tonight
You said I love you and I said it too
I could say it now, but boy you know I need to go
You said forever and I said it too
We were gonna stay together forever, but now I need to go
Baby, you know I’m right ‘cause we’re going down
And our mothers’ll be crying as they dig two holes in the ground
You say you’ll do so much better and I want nothing more than to believe you
But I’ve heard it before. Won’t let myself believe you anymore.
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4. |
True Love
05:20
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They say love comes only once
They say the same for death
But I swear I’ve died on a few occasions
And I’m not so sure what we had was true, my love
I was just another piece on the board
Just another tool to use until it breaks
Another light to burn until it fades
Mine was just another soul you wanted to own
Your lies and calculating eyes
Your games and all those power plays
Three steps ahead but they never know
You win but they never know
Take my pieces, leave them lying on the floor
Too insignificant for you to pick up
Just tread upon my heart, crush my life into dust
They say love comes only once
They say the same for death
But I swear you killed me on a few occasions
And I’m not so sure what we had was true, my love
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5. |
Stay
05:17
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Some nights when I’m alone
and a sad song starts to play
I have to fight back the tears,
remembering things you used to say
Words you used to scream at me
and words you whispered in my ear
weapons to keep me in your arms
and lies to strike up fear
All to make me stay with you
But I left, I got away
These fears still stay with me
A part of you I’m forced to keep
These fears still stay with me
You told me how I’d die alone
‘cause no one else could ever love me
and though I know that can’t be true
your words still haunt my mind
and though I know that can’t be true
sometimes truth is hard to find
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6. |
Riot in the Oligarchy
03:53
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Give me the money, enough to make my vote count
Dollars speak louder than honesty
The truth is but a whisper amongst the wealthy’s dreams
The news is but a shadow of what it used to be,
A side of bias amid hysteric screams
So give me the money, enough to make my vote count
Truth doesn’t mean a thing
Riot is the language of the unheard
Riot speaks louder than words
You choke them hard enough hoping no one will hear their cries
You oppress those who are different
Steal their liberties from beneath their bloody, beaten bodies
Try to sweep us under the rug, but we’re not going anywhere
We’re still hear, and you’re going to hear me
Riot is the language of the unheard
Riot speaks louder than words
The tighter you clench your fist, the louder we’ll scream
We won’t be silenced, you’re gonna hear me
You were supposed to protect, to serve
We’re not the enemy, we’re not the enemy
But we won’t be silenced, you’re gonna hear me
Riot is the language of the unheard
Riot speaks louder than words
Radical change calls for radical action
In a system that’s broken, patience is a delusional thing
Only the just and righteous would give up their power,
A far cry from earthly kings
Is there a nonviolent solution, a peaceful way to end this internal war
We refuse to live this way anymore
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7. |
Peace of Mind
03:05
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Insignificant and alone
She finds self-worth in the men that want her
He’ll tell you what you want to hear,
But he can’t give you what you need
You give him one night,
He gives you nothing but regret
It’s like you’re crawling in the dark
Bloody hands and knees
Dirt clings to your clothes
and your tear-stained cheeks
Just put down the knife
Pick up some peace of mind
Find the strength inside
Find your peace of mind
So ready to love others
She keeps none for herself
Her skin pales with the passing years
Her lips fade from red to blue
As you give up on you
They will too
You just wanted someone to love you
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8. |
Others' Expectations
02:43
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What you lacked in wisdom
You made up for in insecurities
And you imparted them all to me
Spent your time staring into the mirror
You were never enough
At least, that’s what you’d see
And now the mirror’s my worst enemy
It’s hard to change the way we see ourselves
Caught up in others’ expectations
Caught up in others’ expectations
It’s hard to love ourselves
If we don’t know what love looks like
Don’t know what love looks like
Blind to what was really true
Blind to all but what that reflection showed you
Deaf to what was really true
Deaf to all but the memories of what he told you
Fight the voices in your mind
Learn to love yourself
Look through new eyes
See the beauty inside
Look through new eyes
See the beauty inside
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9. |
No One's Fault
04:06
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I remember our last embrace
I never wanted to let you go
And I knew you’d let me hold you
As long as I needed to
But the tears were welling up inside
And I couldn’t let you see
The weakness in my eyes
So I stole one last kiss
I said my goodbye
It’s no one’s fault
But it’s still over
It’s no one’s fault
But it still hurts
It’s no one’s fault
But I can’t help but to think
I could have done something different
I hope you find a man that makes you want him
Like I wanted you
And I hope he loves you
Like you never loved me
You said we wanted different things
Felt guilty for keeping them from me
And couldn’t do this anymore
You said we wanted different things
I don’t know what you wanted
But I just wanted you
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10. |
Corporate Hymn
04:24
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Listen close and I’m sure you’ll hear
Listen close and I’m sure you’ll hear
Their corporate hymn
Smile to America while you stab her in the back
Drone on about your patriotism
But refuse to pay livable wages
Then send all your jobs over seas
Fill our foods with poisons
Fill our lakes with poisons
Fill our skies with poisons
They own the house and the senate
Money is power
And they hoard it all between themselves
They tell you what to think
They tell you how to feel
They tell you what is to be successful
To be beautiful, to have worth
Money is power
And they would do anything for more
Hurt anyone for more
Leave those with less to wither away
Remake Jesus in your image
Nothing is holier than conservative politics
God bless the privileged
Corrupt the youth
Corrupt the nation
Corrupt the very soil beneath our feet
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11. |
Half Heart
11:26
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You think we could heal each other
Combine our broken hearts
To make them full again
To live forever, happily
Well I’ve learned the hard way
That’s not how it works
Two half hearts don’t make a whole
you can try putting them together
but all you have are two wounded souls
and you think it’ll make things better for the both of us,
but it’ll only make things worse
you’ll burn each other out
you’ll cry, you’ll curse
that half heart you guarded turns to ashes in your hands
and you’re alone, again
years later you start to wonder if you could ever love someone like before
when you do, just walk away
just walk away
no one wants what’s left of a wrecked up heart
your ashes, they’re cast into the wind
and you’re left with nothing, nothing
where your heart used to be, just a hollow shell
and you’re alone, again
Then you’ll spend your days clouding your mind with distractions
And spend your nights wondering why no one would love you
Your demons and insecurities, they grab you by the throat
It’s not poetic, suffocating hurts
And they won’t let go, they won’t let go
So listen when I tell you, keep that half heart safe
Save it for someone who can love you right
Someone with a whole heart
and not whatever it is I have left inside this bleeding chest
you don’t understand now, but you’ll thank me
Maybe I could help you, but I’m beyond repair
And I’ve told you how the story ends
Keep what remains of your love and innocence,
Leave me to fade
I’ve told you how the story ends
You don’t understand now, but you’ll thank me
someday
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12. |
Enough
05:06
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You love and you love
You give and you give
But it’s just not enough
It’s just not enough
They take and they take
You shoulder their burdens,
You endure their pain
They take and the take
Your body and your soul
They take and they take
Until you’re all used up
Then they leave
To find a well they haven’t emptied yet
Mistook the lust in his eyes for affection
His greedy hands as healing
Accepted his words for what he said they were
His deception as the honesty I wanted it to be
You love and you love
You give and you give
For them it’s never enough
But know, you are enough
You are enough
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13. |
Tip of My Tongue
05:58
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With my hand in yours
You avoid my gaze
Hoping you do not see
I hope you do not see
Your name, on the edge of my lips
Love, on the tip of my tongue
Just put your lips on mine
Can’t keep this secret for long
You’re like all I ever wanted
You’re like all I’ll ever need
It’s like I’ve been waiting here forever
I’m finally waking from the dream
Like the night holds the stars
I’ll keep you in my arms
And just like the moon
You outshine them all
As the waves in the see
You pull me
As the waves in the see
You pull me
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14. |
Let Go
12:27
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Breathe in, breathe out
Let it go
Take a deep breath then let it go
Just let go
You were young, and so was I
You were young, and I wasn’t without fault
You were wrong, but I stuck around
I may not forget, but I’ll forgive
I’ll finally let go
Living in the past is like choosing to live in pain
Too busy hurting to notice moments slip between your fingers
Bits of the present you will never have again
Living in the past leaves no door to a future
Barring yourself in with what happened long ago
Scarred, lonely, and no place else to go
Let it go
Just let go
Let it go
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Matthew Ellis Ohio
Singer-Songwriter, Poet, Scientist
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